We had a pretty busy weekend around here, but I came across a typo-filled sign that was part of a store display. Might as well post it!
Yes, of course I was in a store that sells cute Japanese goods! That’s one of the perks of living in the Bay Area. Where I last lived, in Wisconsin, this stuff was not easy to come by. Anyway, this sign really needs some help. The most basic and least subjective problem is that “doesn’t” is misspelled. Any spell checker would have caught that.
My other critiques are more subjective but I think they’re quite valid. To start, the top line of the sign that says “Iwako Eraser” should add “s” at the end because they’re selling many erasers, not just one.
In addition to that, the brand name “Iwako” should be capitalized, and if it were up to me, I’d completely rewrite the “iwako 3 reasons for kids” part. I get the meaning, but it just sounds clunky. I’d probably phrase it something like, “3 reasons Iwako erasers are great for kids:” and continue from there. I’d rewrite the descriptions of the three reasons as well.
For the first reason describing why the erasers are great, I’d change it to: “Passed the JIS 6050 eraser quality test in Japan,” or “Passed the Japanese eraser quality test (JIS 6050).” I don’t think anyone in the US knows what a JIS 6050 test is, so adding the word “quality” tells you what you need to know. “It” is superfluous here. If you keep the version that says “in Japan,” the word “in” should not be capitalized as they have it in the sign now.
The second reason isn’t bad but lacks consistency. Are we capitalizing all the main words in the ad or not?
The third reason, other than the misspelling, isn’t horrible either, but I’d simplify it to: “No PVC or lead!” Easy and gets the point across.
That’s my compulsive proofreading and editing of the day!